Since my beloved daughter, Julie, passed away, I have attempted to share my experience with sorrow and tell how life has been changed in the hope of helping someone else deal with grief. With every endeavor the pain of my loss hammered my soul until it became apparent that I would not be able to go any further. Now, almost four years later, I am still experiencing some grief but nothing like before. God has graciously answered my prayers and is helping me day by day in this struggle. I have prayed consistently, read books on coping with grief, sought comfort from others, all to inconspicuous benefit. I fully trust the Lord, have never accused Him, know what His word teaches, but, like Jacob, who for more than twenty years grieved for his child, could not be comforted.
"And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him." Genesis 37:35.
I have wept like Rachel.
"Thus saith the LORD; A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation, and bitter weeping; Rahel weeping for her children refused to be comforted for her children, because they were not." Jeremiah 31:15
"In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not." Matthew 2:18
I realize how differently this subject is viewed in our culture. Some people try to apply their own view of "appropriate" behavior in a time of grief to every other person's situation, which I believe is an extreme lack of consideration. While there are parts of it common to all of us, no two people mourn completely alike.
It is my prayer that something good will come out of my grief, and that is the very reason I make an agonizing effort to put my experience into words.
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